“Every minute I spent at Odyssey House was
worth it.”
Her drug use developed into a full-fledged problem when
she was 23. By then she was a new mother. To manage the trauma of escaping an
abusive relationship with her daughter’s father and the stress of single
parenthood Ashley, turned to cocaine, marijuana and alcohol.
Her life become chaotic. She regularly left her daughter
with her parents to go out with friends and started selling drugs. At various
points Ashley realized she had a problem and struggled to get help: she tried
three different outpatient clinics over two years, but she never stayed clean
for long.
Recognizing the dangers of her lifestyle, she sent her
daughter to South Carolina to live with her grandmother for a little while.
Shortly after, events took a serious turn. She was arrested for selling drugs.
Because it was her first offense, the judge recommended Ashley get residential treatment
and referred her to Odyssey House.
Ashley was admitted to the young adult women’s program in
the Bronx last October. It took time, but once she adjusted to the structured
environment, she began to feel herself change. Being in treatment “helped me
open up to others, understand that the way I was living was wrong, and bridge
the gap between me and my family,” she says. The groups were particularly
beneficial in helping Ashley find peace. “The more I talked to my peers, the
lighter my burden felt.”
Ashley says she now has better coping and communication
skills and, thanks to vocational training, has a clearly defined career track
she is passionate about. She was always interested in cooking – as a child she
could often be found helping her mom in the kitchen – so when it came time to
choose a vocational training track, the culinary arts program was a natural
fit. “My mom and I used to talk about opening a family-run Italian restaurant,
so that’s what I’m working towards.”
Though she’s nervous about leaving treatment, Ashley has
a few strategies to help ease the transition, by continuing treatment at a
local outpatient program and finishing her culinary training. “I really
benefited from the structure of the program, so I’m going to incorporate that
into my day,” she says. Mostly, she’s motivated by the prospect of seeing her
daughter again, and finally being the mother she deserves.
“I wish I could go back in time and tell my 18-year-old
self ‘Slow down! There’s nothing but trouble ahead if you keep living like
this.’ But all I can do is keep working on my recovery, and focus on my
daughter. I can’t let her down again.
“If you have a problem, it’s okay to come to treatment.
It gives you hope. Once you address certain issues, the pain goes away. You’ll
come out a better person. I know I’m coming out a better person, a better
mother. Every minute I spent at Odyssey House was worth it.”
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